Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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