found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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