something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
