im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
