I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize
