Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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