Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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