Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
