does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
