Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
