We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
