I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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