I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
