4 words: hood of his car
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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