there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
