So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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