ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
