If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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