I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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