Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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