god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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