Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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