I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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