I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
