just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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