the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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