Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
