i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
