is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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