I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
