kristin has been a bad kristin
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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