the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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