My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
