Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
