Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
