why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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