sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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