how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
