Its about making memories worth repressing
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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