id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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