i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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