so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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