I just saw a hot homeless man
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
