Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
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