He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
