New invention idea: vibrating tampons
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i just google imaged poop.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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