Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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