She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
