your room smells of hookers.
And success
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
