There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
