i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
